Day forty. This morning, something in the body has changed in a perceptible way. Not a conceptual revelation — a physical, sensory, immediate one.
The lotus opening
I can feel my femoral necks beginning to have an incredible range of motion. The lotus position is becoming increasingly easy. Something has released in the hips — gradually, without forcing, as the weeks pass and the exploration accumulates.
This is one of those moments when the body bears witness. It says: yes, what you are doing has an effect. At this age, to feel that everything stretches well, that there are no joint pains, that range of motion is increasing — this is a real pleasure. And it is also what devotion produces, without one having sought it: not a reward, but a presence in the body that reveals itself on its own.
Like the Shambavi Mahamudra Kriya every day. Like the floor exploration. Like the Tai Chi that has been added. This isn't effort — it's commitment. And commitment, in turn, gives ease to the body.
The swell as laboratory
In the afternoon, we are invited onto the boat of friends. And on that boat, something happens that I hadn't anticipated.
The swell. The rolling. The constant need to adjust balance — left, right, forward, back — without deciding anything consciously. The body manages. The centre of gravity adapts continuously, automatically, without apparent effort.
This is exactly what the twelve baby stages prepare. What Tai Chi makes conscious. What the reptilian slide organises: the capacity of the nervous system to respond to a moving space, to find balance within instability, not to resist but to follow.
The night that follows
Our friends from the boat share something with us: when there is swell, when the boat rolls from side to side, they have very, very strange dreams. The vestibular system keeps working during sleep. The inner ear registers, the brain integrates, and it emerges during the night as unusual images and sensations.
This reminds me of an experience I had here — a dream in which Christine Adam appeared, a classmate from when I was five years old, of whom I had heard nothing since. The nervous system had surfaced something buried. The body in continuous movement, during the night, had reopened a door.
This evening, I wonder what will come. Exploration continues during sleep — perhaps that is where some of the deepest integrations happen.